mental health · weight loss

The Case of the Missing Cupcake

I just hid a cupcake wrapper from my best friend.  I’ve struggled with my weight for much of my life, and over the last few years, I’ve been steadily working off my weight.  I’ve successfully lost 80 pounds and transformed my not just my body, but my life.  Yet, I still hid the cupcake wrapper.  What is that?!

I find that I often compare what and how I’m eating to others I’m with.  I’m not so sure that is normal.  I always note how often people reach for food, what they choose, etc.  I’m not sure if that is normal.  Depending on what they do, I act complimentary.

I wish I could say that after all the weight and creating a more active life style that I have a better relationship with food.  But that is just simply not the case.  I’m ashamed when I eat sweets or junk food, even more so in front of other people.  I still use food for comfort and emotional support.

I know that regardless of what I look like, my best friend will always be supportive of me.  However, I can’t help but be ashamed of my lack of self control.  I doubt she’s thinking what I am, but it’s almost like I can’t control the negative self talk. AND the worse I feel, the more I want to eat. It’s a vicious cycle. I end up in a hole that I can’t crawl out of and hating myself in the process.

What are some healthier ways to deal with negative emotions?  Does anyone know how to realign their relationship with food?  This is going to be interesting year of exploring and trying to find my footing in life.



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