anxiety · Authenticity · Letting go · mental health · mindfulness · positivity · Uncategorized

Aloha Nani

I’m a runner. When it comes to fight or flight, I’m all about flight unless absolutely necessary. So I currently find myself sitting on a beach in Hawaii that over looks a small but beautiful bay where sea turtles sun themselves in the late hours of the day.

I’ve never run this far before and normally stick close to home. I find comfort in the known. Yet here I find myself so relaxed that I may have a stressful thought once a day rather than every few hours. That is a huge step for me.

I still have access to my work but I find myself engulfed by the sounds of the ocean and wind. I’m able to push aside the what ifs I worry about and find comfort in the sun. Here I feel like me but a different version of myself. Perhaps it’s vacation or island life, but it just feels different.

I ran from the east coast to get away from the negativity and drama that had happened over 2015. I need to be me again in a place where none of that baggage could join me, the complete antithesis of the cold and dreary northeast. I needed friends who had been through similar circumstances who could help me see things as they are and not as how I had become accustomed to seeing them.

This has been an incredible experience of just leaving the world behind, trusting in God and letting the negativity go. I’m nervous to go home as I do not want to fall back into old patterns. I love this feeling of clearheadedness.

I need to work on how I achieved this exactly as I couldn’t even tell you. Perhaps it was the complete isolation from the people and things that brought drama to my life. Maybe it was the ability to finally turn my brain off. Or may be I was just suffering from SADD and all I needed was the sun. Either way, this is a trend I need to keep going. I pray for the Lord’s help with this and guidance on how to determine what is worth my energy.

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