We’ve all heard the saying that to be human is to be flawed. Yet, while blogging my journey and using this platform as a tool to my own healing, I’ve become more aware of how much we hide. Every one I know has, at some point, stated there is nothing wrong with being who you are, no matter the flaws or imperfections. Yet, we still hide parts of ourselves from view. It’s as if we live our lives in double standards. It’s perfectly fine for everyone else to be flawed and human, but we hold ourselves to a perfection that we incapable of meeting. But why? Why are so we afraid of just being human?
We long to be accepted by one another and to feel connected. It’s a part of the hierarchy of needs that is ingrained in our psyche. The fear of not being accepted for who we are can be so overpowering and overwhelming that it drives us to create a persona for our social interactions. However, if there is one thing I’ve come to realize it’s that this is more of a disservice rather than anything else. We all do it as a defense mechanism, to do our best to be accepted, but in the end, it’s always our undoing. This is truly the most challenging part of the human condition.
Living behind walls can be claustrophobic, especially when you let them dictate who you are. Editing who you are for others is stifling, and in my opinion, tears at your soul. You’re telling yourself that a part of you is not good enough, not worthy enough, of other’s acceptance. But it always backfires. Hiding who you really always does not allow you to truly connect with others. It keeps them from getting to know you. Those quirks and little things that you think are unacceptable are what make you, you. They are what draw people to you and allow you to establish relationships.
As human beings, we are messy and complicated, and we have our dark corners. I don’t know a single person who doesn’t. Depression, addiction, self-esteem issues, no matter what it is, it doesn’t make you any less of a person and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It makes you vulnerable, and vulnerability is one of the most genuine and beautiful ideas. There is truly beauty in exposing your heart to other people, and as we suffer through the lows of life, we need to be our authentic selves the most. We need others, their love and support to help us through times of difficulty, but we will never get feel that assistance within our hearts and souls if we don’t let our true selves out to the world. It makes the highs that much better knowing you are surrounded by individuals who understand and accept you as you are. Yet the struggle shames us.
It doesn’t have to be the adorable little nuances or passions that we all think make us lesser, whether you think that’s being a nerd or a loving something obscure. It’s not that “perfect” appearing life that everyone posts on social media, but the mess of who you really are that connects us to one another. May be I’m crazy that I’m proud of where I am in life, of the work I’m putting in. There is nothing wrong with doing what you need to do to create a healthy lifestyle, and you should own that. Share it with the people around you.
Don’t be afraid to admit your faults or flaws. Don’t seal them away from the world. Stop trying to be a specific idea of what you think you should be. No more “faking it” to make it. You end up feeling alone and with a pit in your stomach. Share your crazy, your mess, your passions, your darkness, your light, everything that you makes you who you are. Life is too short to not live freely. Someone, somewhere needs you as you are. Your struggle inspires. Let’s stop pretending. Start living and just being.