Sometimes all a woman needs is a long weekend away. After being responsible for the issuing of 150 reports within a month, I took an extra day off of work this weekend. Ironically, I’m not exhausted. Ha! Isn’t that always the way? You take vacation and end up exhausted from vacation. I didn’t actually go anywhere but just spent my time hanging out with friends and the bun. Yet…I feel like I didn’t rest at all. I swear there is such a thing as resting too much. It’s when you rest so much you no longer feel like you rested but you need another day to rest. I know you’ve been there. Haha.
After taking the time to recharge, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s time to start fresh. I haven’t been very disciplined with myself over the last few months. With working 10 hour days, I began indulging myself with whatever it is I want. I’ve been eating out several times a week. My bank account and my waist band are not happy with me one bit.
Years ago, I lost 80 lbs. It took a lot of time and patience. I’m sad to say that I gained some of that back. The main problem is currently I’m letting my desire to comfort and soothe dictate what it is I do. I’m no longer walking every weekend; I’m indulging my cravings in order to self soothe. I’ve lost that self-control that I used to have. I’m honestly not sure how to restarted.
When I started the journey years ago, it took a panic attack to start the process. I was having panic attacks regularly and hadn’t begun medication or therapy yet. It was the most intense attack I’ve experienced to date, and like many, I mistook it for a heart attack. I drove myself to the hospital (because you know…why would I call an ambulance for a heart attack while I was on the highway) and spent the majority of my day there. They ran blood work, did a number of tests, and I was perfectly healthy. The nurse practitioner on staff explained the panic attack to me, and I went off to work. I decided to spend the next few nights with family to help me calm down and feel more at ease and went to my sister’s house when ended the work day. I woke up in the middle of the night that night, in another panic attack. My chest hurt and felt like it was in a vice. My entire upper body felt tingly, and I threw up. Less than 24 hours after my first hospital visit, I was in another emergency room. They refused to run the tests again as there wouldn’t have been a change in my body chemistry so quickly. The ER doc gave me a muscle relaxer, a specific diet to eat until my body calmed, and a note to visit my regular doctor.
That was when I decided I needed to change. I didn’t want to be the crazy person in the ER for no reason every few months. I’m not sure how to stimulate that self-control again. I don’t want to be thrown into a full on panic attack just to gain that purpose and drive. I’m not sure how to inspire it within myself again. I see images on pinterest and quotes on Facebook; yet noting resonates with me.
Do you have a trick to staying focused and increasing self control? Have you lost weight before and gained it back? I’d love some tips.
Thank you for your honest thoughts!! I also get into the self-soothe trap. I’ll be happier after I eat dessert or after I lay the couch and rest. But really those things don’t satisfy me and I end up frustrated with myself. It’s a journey!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have panic attacks too but they were a lot worse before, now I am better at controlling them thankfully. Well done for making a change x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great post. Thanks! I have never had issue with anxiety or panic attacks thankfully but I do know people who have / do have issues with it and I feel bad for them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your diet really affects so much! I know this. Try walnuts they are super amazing for mood.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll give them a try. I didn’t realize there was food just for mood!
LikeLike
I have dealt with anxiety and it is no fun. Self care is such an integral part of our well being.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like those treat ideas. It does help to motivate when you know there are non food treats coming your way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’d recommend meditation and mindfulness. I think a lot of people suffer from anxiety, panic attacks, etc. who could benefit from strengthening their spiritual practices. Meditation and mindfulness really help calm your nerves and they are a daily practice which keeps your progress sustained. If you want to pursue this, you can reach out to me, because this is something I love to help people with. I can point you to several resources. good luck and take care!
LikeLike
I think I have been on a diet since I was born! Yes, I have been on diets and lost weight–then gained it back again. The way they finally figured out that I had Diabetes 2 was that I lost 60 pounds in about a month! I’ve managed to keep 1/2 of that from coming back–I watch it now-pretty carefully between sugar and carbs. I did have a panic attack once–it is frightening! I have found that stress or over doing work makes me eat more—
LikeLiked by 1 person
Changing habits and entire lifestyles can be so tricky. Unfortunately it does seem like we sometimes need a big shock to create motivation to make big changes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This sounds like my life in the last few years! I feel like we’re in the same boat. I signed up for WW online e-tools. It’s been helpful to keep me accountable and there’s a whole new Connect feature that allows you to connect and be inspired with others!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for sharing your story. Making a lifestyle change can be difficult. Sometimes it takes a break (or a refresh) to stick with it and that’s okay. I wish you all the best!
As for my tips to staying focused: I reward myself for excelling. I also stay busy because I work better under pressure. Weirdly enough, eating healthy and exercising keep me focused and gets me in the mind to do the things I have planned for the day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Self care is extremely important . When you neglect yourself you neglect your life
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for this refreshing, honesty post! Life can definitely come in and swing us back and forth. But plenty of self-love and some much needed motivation can def get us back on track.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am in need of doing something myself right about now. I have never had a panic attack but I do know that I have felt poorly because of my diet and exercise habits in times of my life. I need to find that place again when I felt healthy and figure out how to get there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
wow, thank you for sharing. a brutally honest reminder that life isnt always cupcakes and rainbows.
As for fitness and walking, maybe find a friend to go with? I am one of those people that put ftiness in my schedule, on my calendar the way you would schedule a meeting or something. I know that helps me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have lost and gained back weight a couple of times. The fact that I have tons of hormonal balance does not make it easy to loose weight. It was nice to read your post. Don’t give up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
How you eat can truly effect how you feel. I have been studying a lot on the effects of gut health lately. My tip is instead of focusing on losing weight to focus on eating better. Also reward yourself once in awhile we all deserve it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know exactly how it is to have your weight fluctuate, but I’ve been able to successfully drop the pounds whenever I get ready. The key for me is forcing myself to be active, which then triggers a desire for me to want to eat healthier, followed by then eliminating all the “comfort” foods and replacing them with healthier alternatives.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can so relate to this!! I had lost almost 70 and gained quite a bit back. Finding the right reason to be on the journey is the most important part, sounds like you have your head where it needs to be.
LikeLiked by 1 person
meditation works perfect on these things more, hopefully a little diet change also helps… a journey truly worth it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know what you mean! I used to pat myself on the back for not having to take days off, but i realized that has a negative impact in the long run. Its also funny to think that in Europe, it is completely normal to have months of vacation time!
LikeLike
I know that feeling! A friend og mine once said that she respects herself and makes a dinner every day even though she’s living alone and cooks only for herself. I think it’s a wonderful thing and I try to keep it in my mind as well. Because we are worth it! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! Thank you for being so honest and transparent! I feel like this too at times and actually yesterday I had a hard conversation with myself to get it together and get back in control of life in general but the workouts and eating ranking really high on the list!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I lost almost 75 lbs. last year when I found out I was diabetic. I worry a lot about taking care of my health so I can continue to be here for my kids.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I panic even at the thought of a panic attack!! I am really health conscious!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I rarely have panic attacks until I lost my Stepmom and most recently my brother
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so sorry for your loss. Death can rock your feeling of stability.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you indeed can and it does
LikeLike
This resonates with me – at the moment I’m stuck in a rut, and I’m having similar feelings and thoughts to those you described. I always find that long walks and writing things down help me to clear my mind and focus. Helps me to create an action plan, even if it is a short one! Haha – totally agree about needing to rest after resting all weekend!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for sharing! I too am working on getting my self control back!
Thank you for sharing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much for sharing!
I always think that the awareness is very important!
“Eating well is a form of self-respect.” – top
LikeLiked by 1 person
I never had panic attacks but I was stressed mostly due to work. A few years back, I started practicing yoga and meditation and then onwards, there is a huge difference in my life!
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a brave post .. you’re awesome. I’m certain other people will read your words and identify. I haven’t suffered from panic attacks .. and they sound awful. I’m so sorry. We’ve all been there though in the moments where we say “I’ve had enough” and decide to make a change. Bravo to you for losing 80 pounds! The great news is you figured out what works for your body .. and now it’s just a matter of forcing yourself back into those same routines.
LikeLiked by 1 person