Welcome to 2017!!! The new year has finally begun, and I’m rather sure I’m in the majority when I say it was so good to 2016 end. It seems almost everyone I know had a rough year, myself included, and it’s good to feel like there is a new start. I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated….but the holiday season is ALWAYS crazy for me. It technically is not over yet as I still have to make the trip up to Massachusetts, but for now, I’m home. I spent a good week at my mother’s home for Christmas, then it was off to see my cousins for New Years.
Rather than ruminate on the last year, I thought I would say goodbye to 2016 by thanking it. It was definitely a rough year, but I ended up learning a lot from it. Of course, these lessons came with a price.
- Do not let someone back into your life if they still aren’t sure if they want to be there. You’ll hear nice words and great intentions, but if they can’t follow through on them, there is no point in trying to establish any kind of relationship…even if it is just a friendship. They will only abuse/use your kindness to make themselves feel better about themselves.
- Self reflection is a necessity, but don’t obsess. This one is VERY hard and something I still haven’t fully figured out. The off switch is hard for me to locate, and I don’t always know when I’m obsessing.
- It’s okay to hurt, and it’s okay to hurt for as long as you need to. I’m at odds with a friend on this one currently. She thinks I’m forcing myself to punish myself over and over again, letting the pain last. But my therapist has mentioned that it’s okay to be hurt and it’s okay to feel it for as long as you do. There is no time limit on pain or grief.
- Some people are just assholes. If a person’s first response to you donating your hair is “you look like a lesbian now” and is in any form of that, they are probably an asshole. SEVERAL people had this comment when I donated almost all my hair to Locks of Love, and I’m pretty sure each of them are assholes. When I explained it was because my uncle had been recently diagnosed and money was tight, they normally shut up. But still, if you response is about someone looking gay, you’re probably an asshole.
- Good guys do exist, and I do date them. I had a few instances that had me guessing (my last relationships), but dating Mr. Who this year showed to me that good guys do exist. Yes, we didn’t work out and ended up parting ways, but I learned that it wasn’t me. We just didn’t click long term. It was a good year together and we had a lot of fun. The biggest thing I learned form him was there are men out there who will not make you feel like there is something wrong with you. In fact, if you find that’s how you feel at the end of a relationship, there is normally something wrong with the other person. They either manipulated or used you in some way that caused those feelings to emerge.
2017 is a year of hope so far. How could it not be? It did just start after all! Everyone is just relieved that 2016 is over, and we can start anew. This year I have high hopes.
- Get back to basics. I’ve doing a lot of “existing.” I put that in quotes because mostly it’s been doing whatever I can to make myself feel neutral. I haven’t focused on anything but that, and I’m hoping this year I can branch back out to the basics….taking care of my apartment, taking care of my health, etc.
- Healing old wounds. I’m hoping with the help of my new therapist that some of my worth issues and childhood/teenage trauma can be healed.
- Be more sympathetic to myself. I hold myself to a high standard and definitely punish myself when I don’t live up to it. I’m hoping to cut myself some slack in 2017.
What about you? What did you learn in 2016? What are you hoping to see in 2017?