Enneagram Type 2:
Giver, Caretaker, Helper, Nurturer, Advisor or Manipulator
You want to be appealing, giving, caring and heartfelt. More importantly, you want to be needed, considered important and appreciated for your efforts. You see yourself as approachable, nurturing and thoughtful. You would like others to see you as empathetic, supportive and altruistic. Your idealized image is that you are a loving and helpful person.
You have a warm, sociable and enthusiastic personality. You want to be liked and are always ready with an easy smile, helpful advice or a friendly compliment. Relationship orientated, you reach out to others and are often the first one to lend a hand. A good listener, you focus on the needs and concerns of others. You usually know what people need and feel, and enjoy taking on the kind of role where you can show your giving and generous nature. You have developed the gift of flattery to the level of an art form because you see how this skill can be a currency for creating intimate rapport.
Secretly, you can feel needy and vulnerable feeling that you must earn the right to be loved. Avoiding a deep sense of loneliness, you find ways to connect to and be of service to others. You have an innate sense of what to say or do to make people feel seen and admired. Like a fairy godmother or godfather, you like to do special things for people and surprise them with unexpected gifts. You take note of others’ desires and try to fulfill them. You take pride in your ability to comfort and support others.
You find it gratifying to be of service and are drawn to people that have power and influence. You enjoy being the power behind the throne and make yourself appealing by being indispensable. Always ready to be helpful, others often depend on you. You have innate people skills and value interpersonal relationships above all else. Your extraordinary insight about what people need and your ability to create mutual trust and affinity are rare gifts. You love to be instrumental in helping others achieve their full potential.
You need approval, recognition and admiration. Most importantly, you want to be seen as a ‘special’ friend. You go out of your way to notice what is needed and feel motivated when others acknowledge your efforts and express their appreciation. Sometimes, you are so focused on others, that you don’t pay attention to your own unmet needs and feelings. You may feel that in order to have your needs met by others, you must meet their needs first.
You avoid appearing needy or useless. Secretly, you fear being ignored and don’t want to feel left out or be seen as inconsequential. To be liked, you avoid saying or doing anything that is off-putting or unflattering. You feel much more comfortable giving than receiving. To let yourself receive, you would have to express your own desires, which feels very vulnerable to you. Focused on the needs of others, you may repress your own needs and feel taken for granted.
Demonstrative and friendly, you are exceptionally gifted at creating and maintaining relationships. Emotionally astute, you have a way of creating rapport with even the most difficult people. Softhearted and sympathetic, you are sensitive to others and always seem to notice when someone feels sad or is in distress. You intuitively know what is needed in any given situation and always seem to know just the right thing to say and do. Your ability to sense and satisfy other’s emotional needs is second to none. You also have the ability to match others and work well in tandem with them.
Your vice is pride, believing that you are the one who sees and can give people what they need and want. Though you might not realize it, you may give to people with strings attached. When you offer unsolicited advice or give compulsively, others may perceive you as bossy, overly demonstrative or manipulative. In an effort to have your needs met, you may promise more than you can deliver or deliver more than you promise. Unconsciously, you may feel needy and want to be taken care of by others. You can become emotional, sullen or overly dramatic, suffering from psychosomatic illnesses.
Your attention goes outward toward being helpful, flattering others, meeting people’s needs and finding someone who can meet your needs. You may be unaware of how much time and energy you spend giving until you feel sad that others are not able to do the same for you.
Your spiritual journey is about reclaiming your sense of humility. The pride you feel in giving to others may keep you from learning how to receive or from realizing that you may be giving to get. Giving with expectation is a veiled form of taking. True altruism is selfless. Spiritual growth will come to you when you can acknowledge your own needs and learn to give freely without expecting anything in return.
Being helpful to others is how you feel good about yourself. Sometimes, you may be so focused on meeting the needs of others that you do not pay attention to your own. If you feel compelled to offer someone a glass of water, consider that you may actually be the one who is thirsty.
If you are the Enneagram Type 2 with the 1 Wing, you desire to appear elegant. You see yourself as classic, graceful, healthy, appropriate and efficient.
If you are the Enneagram Type 2 with the 3 Wing, you desire to appear attractive. You see yourself as vivacious, varied, playful, fun and glamorous.
All content Katherine Chernick Fauvre, David W. Fauvre, Enneagram Explorations, © 1995-2007