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Anger and Faith

00c9d28Lately I’ve had several people comment on my faith, how spiritual connected I am or am not.  Needless to say, it’s getting under my skin.  I’m starting to feel this anger within myself that I haven’t had before. A person’s faith is such an intimate aspect of themselves that I find it strange that other feels it’s suitable to comment on. Within a span of two weeks, I had two individuals call me a doubting Thomas and another tell me I was spiritually sound.  It floored me. I thought judgment on another’s faith was unchristian-like to begin with.

I immediately felt the need to defend myself, and my relationship with my God. But of course….I just smiled and acted shocked.  I believe my response was, “Wow…most people say I have a wonderful relationship,” and smiled through it.  Part of me wishes I spoke up, that I had defended myself and my faith; yet another part of me feels that saying nothing is just right.  My relationship with the Lord is my relationship, and there shouldn’t be a need to defend it. It shouldn’t be open for debate. Then I began thinking to myself what is it that makes other think I don’t have enough faith….and I keep thinking about it.7bc970ea0ec55c65c7c19becbcebb015

I believe in God fully.  He’s there, and he guides me.  I believe that his son walked this Earth.  What I continually struggle with isn’t that they exist, but the love everyone says they have for me.  I question my validity as someone worthy of saving. Do I give back?  Do I help those in need?  Most importantly, do I do it for the right reasons? I have a hard time grasping the concept that I don’t need to do anything to be deserving of sacrifice and love. It’s not something I’m familiar with.  So when I do offer rides to the old man down the street, or give my food to a homeless woman, I wonder if I have some subconscious desire to do so to please…and not to just help out of my heart.

But why exactly is that open to comment?  Why do my feelings about myself and my worthiness up for debate and commentary?  That I will never understand.  I’m not sure why these people were so open about making statements about it.  Am I just being too sensitive?

i_am_a_good_person_that_s_what_i_am_by_misterzygarde64-d84mpj1I’m still holding myself to the constraints I was taught as a child.  I was raised Catholic and many ways consider myself Catholic.  As an adult I drifted away from Catholicism, and more towards non-denominationalism.  Is that a word?  If not, let’s make it a word. Some of the “rules” the Church required obedience towards started to not make sense to me.  They still don’t, but I continue to question myself when I break them.  Not going to confession but accepting communion, I struggle with.  Even though my current church has no rules about this, I wonder if I’m doing something dishonest. Am I being judged?

Apparently I am but by my peers. What upsets me the most is that I thought I was able to come off as not having these doubts in myself.  I do my best to keep my questions, personal scoreboard and personal rules to myself.  Yet, somehow I still come off as a doubter.


37 thoughts on “Anger and Faith

    1. It comes from Christ’s follower who doubted so deeply that Jesus had returned that he put his hands on the wounds to confirm it was Jesus.🙂


  1. Faith and religion are both sensitive topics which I don’t like discussing with anyone, even my friends. I like to make sure that I live within my faith but I also would rather not cross people, out of respect. I just wish they thought the same.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am sorry to hear that someone judged you and your faith. I am with you and don’t think that someone should do that. I personally don’t think that I have a good relationship with God and I keep working on it on a daily basis. Nonetheless I think it would truly discourage me if someone would comment on it. Thank you for sharing your feelings and for make me realize that I should not be judged by others.

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  3. I have been in your place before and I openly ask the person judging me to stop because my faith is my personal issue with can be challenging because you don’t want to come of rude or confrontational/angry, but it does make me angry. I loved your post and your perspective on judgement.

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  4. cast the first stone if you are not guilty… i use this for people who judge my faith, why will anyone doubt my faith? my faith is for and with me and my God alone, and no one has the right to question it in anyway except they can cast the very first stone on theirs…

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  5. I agree, a person’s faith is a personal matter. Who are we to judge anyway? IMHO someone’s faith shouldn’t be anyone else’s business, unless they’re caring for children or working in public ministry.

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  6. Beliefs, Religion and Faith are all a personal journey that no one can share (except maybe your significant other) so no one has the right to comment or judge. It isn’t a very Christian thing to do…however I see more and more people pointing fingers at each other…. Hopefully we can all start remembering that if we don’t want people to judge us then we should stop judging us….. (not that you judged the others,,, thinking in reverse if those people dont want others to judge them they shouldn’t judge you.)

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  7. Interesting topic! What I found out about with regards to faith is that when people do talk about it, other people feel that they have to put their own two cents about what you’ve just said then it all becomes this giant blob of mess that gets nowhere. In my opinion, every one is entitled to their own way of thinking about faith and other matters in general. No reason to be rude about it just because the other people don’t happen to agree with what you’re saying…to each our own or something like that! Don’t mind the rude people!

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  8. Some people think they have the right to give comments about our beliefs and when you do the same thing they will get offended. I have learned to stop myself from dealing or arguing with these people and just keep quiet. There’s really no use arguing with them.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Faith is your own intimate thing – and there’s no right or wrong. If you believe in God, others shoud respect that. If someone doesn’t believe, others should respect that as well. Just keep doing you🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Thank you for writing a post that shows your vulnerability! It’s sad that people pay more attention to others and not themselves! You never doubt yourself and continue to shine! I love the phrase “Throw kindness around like confetti.”

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Faith is what grounds me. I love my faith and very passionate about serving the almighty Lord.
    Please continue walking your path of life and live according to your walk of faith. Do not be discourage by others🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. My faith is not exactly mainstream – I am a Pagan, and practicing Hedge Witch, something I don’t usually advertise too much, because I know how people react – violent, in some cases, with an eye-roll for others. Faith is such a private matter, and we would all be better off, if we would allow others to practice their faith like they want to, and learn to co-exist.

    Liked by 1 person

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